Happy Anniversary??

Today is our 19th Wedding Anniversary.  It's the first time we've been apart on our anniversary and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  It's great (especially in this day and age) that we've made it this long!  With Brian gone, it just hasn't seemed like anything special, though.  It's just been another day.  A day that I haven't felt well and slept most of the afternoon.  A day where I had leftovers for dinner with the children.  A day that looks just like the others before.  A day that won't be much different from the ones to follow.
In the back of my mind, I was hoping that maybe Brian set something special up while he was home last month and maybe there would be a knock on the door with some sort of delivery.  I know that is beyond wild imagining because I've lived with the man for 19 years!!!  I usually do something special for him, too, but didn't have the opportunity.  The package I meant to send last week wouldn't have gotten there in time and it's still sitting on my counter waiting to be filled the rest of the way.  My Mom and Dad sent a gift card to a restaurant.  I almost took myself to lunch with it but just wasn't feeling up to it.  I went home after taking the twins to kindergarten and fell asleep instead.
I did have a chance to talk to Brian this morning and wish him a Happy Anniversary.  Sadly, his day was not good at all.  He's had stress at work and they also had a memorial service for one of the Marines who was a member of the Branch who died out on duty.  It was a hard day for him.  Nothing really happy about it.
<sigh>  Next year doesn't look good, either, despite it being the big 2-0.  We know he will still be working over there and we know the approximate dates of his time off and they don't come anywhere near our anniversary.  Rationally, I don't think I should be this upset about it.  I've known for months that this is how it would be.  And yet, I am.
Here are some photos to give you a glimpse of our wedding day!!  I'm going to post more on my Facebook page if you're interested.  :-)   I had to take photos of these that are in my scrapbook as we didn't have digital back then!!!